Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Love is magical, only in fiction


Couple of years ago, I wrote a post where I was younger and naive. The post was an attempt to get back at people, who didn't reciprocate my love. First and foremost, I still don't know what love is. It is definitely not what is portrayed in fairy tales and Disney movies. It is far more complex than that.
It is never the case, where you like someone with a pure heart and they realize that a pure heart is calling out. They ride the magic train, come get you and everybody lives happily ever after.
Hard lessons that I learnt over the years I wrote the now stupid post.
1. Love has nothing to do with marriage
2. Your mind makes up everything
3. Be it a crush or love it is just your nerve endings playing games with your mind
4. Hormones are equally to be blamed.
Oh tiny things don't matter. When you think that what is so perfect on paper, is never perceived so by others. Life partner, love, marriage, harmony on the surface seem to be related but I have a strong suspicion that they can be compartmentalized in such a way that they can be absolutely unrelated. Growing up is the mandatory part of life and it is only constant. You can make peace with pretty much anything in life. Time is all that matters. It will take care of everything even when you don't want it to take care of things. It chooses to be on your side, when you don't want it to. That is its specialty. If god only grants wishes in the form of what you need and not in the order of what you want, then why the bloody hell should I even make a wish in the first place? I am not angry at you god, because then I am just being a hypocrite for the nth time today. I never complained when you made good things happen in my life. I am exhausted, frustrated and cannot take any more disappointments in the name of practicality. Please tell me what is real?  How do I get over this sense of hopelessness, that amounts to nothing but again, add a layer on to my muffin top! I am sick of this state. If I recall correctly, I have been in this phase for years together now. Enough is enough. I can not put up with the wait. This is horrible than the one time I was at the Indian visa consulate in New York. If I had to put in into perspective, sorry I can't even think of a comparison. Yes it is that bad! 

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