If breeze could whisper!

This is a favourite title that has stuck in my memory for a very long time, may be since ideas formulated in my pea brain, when I let them flow on a paper. It is funny how when I am too sad, too depressed my thoughts shape up as tears and stroll down my cheeks, ohhhh it is indeed dramatic.Now who doesnt like drama, that too a good one, a real one! It is a crime!Yes it is a crime, if I say that I dont feel blessed.I am doing injustice to all other souls who reside in this beautiful world, if I said God has been unfair to me.It is an outrageously cold lie.God has been too generous.He taught me to enjoy the lessons, life has offered.He made me believe in myself.He has made me feel strong every day, he has renewed my beliefs from time to time.He has showed me the light at the end of the tunnel.He has me march upto  the end of it, still thinking I wont be hit by the rail coming from the opposite direction.Well this part is really ture, the place I currently reside is least pedestrain friendly.And there is a narrow bridge, where there is exactly space for two cars to pass thorugh, and absolutely a half inch sidewalk.I have walked  no ran through the tunnel to reach safe sanctury.Well those are the troubles of the car free life.But to look at the brighter side, it is actually living the phrase, of walking through a tunnel, thinking there will be light at the other end.Wow that kind of lightened my mood.I feel horrible.I feel terrible at times.I am one of those victims of modernization, who has so much trouble understanding what makes me the real me.Is it my career or is it my family?Tradition and modernism are two parallel roads.You cannot meet mid way with one leg on both sides of the margin.there is big fat barrier in the middle unless you have supernatural powers of bifarcating and reassembling Yourself everytime.

I love my independence way too much.I wrapped it around myself, to get away from hurt.Now it has become a shield which threatens to place me in a cell where I am cozy and warm but shuts the doors so tight that let alone a human being; the lovely breeze cant get in.This seems ridiculous as a thought, because I will never know if it was a lovely breeze that awaited me or was it a hard thunderstorm .But this makes me feel secure.I am comfortably tucked in.I dont have regrets.Each of them taught me, left me moulded into the person I am right now.I am real.I am alive.But there a melancony which never goes aways.Intense it gets and makes me think that Iam a masochist.I love the pain.Would it let me be myself?

I let the tears roll down, sometimes noticed, at times un-noticed.I laugh aloud to make it seem (to myself and around) there is nothing that is amiss.I am good at it.I am very good at hiding the real me from others.Remember "I am untouchable".

Nothing at all!

How I wish, the breeze which caressed my tear-streaked cheeks reached the special, the  unknown, the unfound someone.

He who is meant to be.Whose kind words reassures me that I am not alone.

If only!If only, the breeze could whisper.

priya

Mr.Right (who) where are You?

So here I am! Back to my sweet little diary account.So what was it that prompted me to pop in?This time it is because

of a life theratening oops life changing event called Marriage which might be on card in my near future.Now the first question that

pops up is if I already have a person in mind whom I am dying to tie the knot and its just the trivial details of where and when that bothers.

Well it aint going to be that simple..Is it?I am in the very first step towards this blissful stage in life(I am told so).I have this great profile on the most renowned matrimony site.The robust software keeps pulling up matches and keeps suggesting I take a peek.

I did start of with a lot of enthusiasm thinking wow It can't be that bad.You have so many profiles,one of them will definitely be my guy.

Well I did speak to one such prospect.And Phew..If I could say my morale has not gone down and has instead lead me to make a short visit to my favorite passtime of all blogging..then yes all those precious hours I spent trying to know him was worth it.Well he atleast helped me figure out what kind of an individual I can never spend my lif with no matter if he has a degree from the Ivy league or is working for the top notch company.I still ponder, about this one big question.And I have a feeling , I have been thinking at a very different angle altogether.Why in God's name should I get married? Well some interesting answers would be,

I need a partner to share my successes and my sorrows.Tear-wet his shoulders when I fail.Somebody to shower all my built up love.

Well also in addition to this would be.Share my day-to-day expenses, my apartment rent,utility bills, car expenses etc.Sorry for putting it right there, but thats exactly how I feel from the practical point.I am tired of doing things on my own is a more shameless way of putting it.What about the soul who is always there for you, stands by you when your whole world falls apart, holds your arm when the whole world plots against you, kisses your forehead without any reason, kisses your lips with intentions to connect with your soul, and rests his head on your chest tyring to hear what your heart whispers?Please don not dare to ask these questions because though I have religiously been a disney fairy tale lover, its been some time that I have burst that beautiful magical bubble and started facing the real actual world.So what do you think should be my guiding parameters when I am looking for my knight-in-shining armour.Well let us stick with the knight-in-shining armour phrase as I still believe that chivalry is not dead although its need is questionable as the modern woman is perfectly capable of doing without it.I am a simple girl with just the same dreams as any other girl in regard to marriage.

Then why is it so hard to find the right guy?Being well-educated on par with you is not a demand it is a requirement.So it is a default criteria.The next thing would be how he looks.Well I have to spend my entire life with him.All that I am asking for is a friendly face who can make my lips curve and my cheeks blush everytime I think about him.How he would treat me is more important than anything else.As someone said I can't blame my father for setting up the standards high for the way I should be treated by a man.At the end of the day when I come back from a long days work, be there to smile and just politely ask, How was your day.(If you added an endearment to it you gain yourself a bonus point).Outgoing, friendly, easy-to-talk to,vibrant full of energy always looking forwar to things, in short Man-in-action.I am no cinderella in looks, I dont expect a prince charming.But I am neither from the cinders, so I can expect a decent looking guy or someone with great personality.I have forgotten about love for a long time now.I would certainly like a guy who can show me how to love again.I want a person to support me through hard ships.I want a soul to share, cherish and spread love.I want my kid to be fathered by him who makes me feel amazing.Who celebrates me for what I am.Whom I think I cannot live without.A deeper CONNECTION in all spheres.But how in the name of God do I narrow down these traits in a person in just a few phone calls is just beyond me.

People say when the time is right the whole universe comes together to make ends meet.Since I cannot come up with a better or even a counter explanation.I decide to second them.All that I can think of now and console myself is that when God made me he had a counter part designed as well.I am sure I will find him and yes I still belive in the perfect fairy tale romances.

Magic is yet to begin!!!

P.S From the mind of a sincere partner hunting soul..